Growing Up Together: The Trials and Triumphs of Teenage Motherhood

On July 9 1994 at 3;22pm I gave birth to Taylor Mackenzie. She weighed in at 9lbs 3.5oz. Being 16 years old with an incredibly tiny body, this was quite the experience. My Mom, fast Viv, and Taylors Dad, Brad were so supportive and by my side for every moment. I went into labour the night before, at my dad's concert in Kitchener. We left the show early, drove to Listowel, packed my bags and headed to the hospital.

Although I was only 16, the love I had for Taylor was a love I had never known or had ever felt before. Instantly, my world changed. She was beautiful, so chubby and so perfect! All 9lbs of her! She was named after James Taylor, which is my Dads favourite singer/song writer.

I spent five days in the hospital. I believe that was standard protocal back then. I can remember having the feelings of just wanting to be with her, nurse her and cuddle her.

I lived in my parents home. A school house in between Elmira and Listowel. It was a full house with my parents, two brothers and sister, and a few Aussie Cattle Dogs. It's no surprise now that Taylor has her own Cattle dog, Tillie.

Being a teenage mom back then certainly wasn't glorified reality show like it is today. In fact, the show 16 and pregnant seemed really weird for me to watch, as I literally lived that reality.

My parents were still young themselves 37 & 36. My siblings were 14, 12 and 10. Taylor, completed our very unique family. We were not raised like most 'normal' families. Which may be a topic for another blog. However, I am thankful for my very unique family, especially now.

I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I was going to live happily ever after with Brad, my high school sweet heart, buy a home with a white picket fence, and raise Taylor with all the things in life I didn't receive as a child. I had no clue that life could be so challenging. I was turning 17, Brad was 20. We were just kids. Even my parents were still young, and figuring out their own lives. I would say my life was a bit chaotic, and that is likely a big under statement.

I made a million mistakes, and just when I thought I had my shit together, I would make a million more NEW mistakes. The vicious cycle of self sabotage reared its head cyclically. However, these were all lessons that were necessary to get me to where I am today! I am certain that I am not the only woman, age of 40+ having these moments of "Holy F*ck, I really f*cking sucked back then" or "What the hell was I thinking" or "Why was I such an asshole"

This is where the healing is happening for me now. I am able to look at my past mistakes and wrong doings, forgive myself, forgive others, ask for forgiveness and move on. And LET THAT SHIT GO! That's not me anymore. I am seeing things differnetly now. Hanging on to regret and guilt does not serve me. I can not change the past but I can take actions today that will make my future and my childrens future amazing. My children give me purpose and motivation to keep putting in the work. To keep empowering myself to level up.

Taylor and I have grown up together and what a blessing she has been. I love seeing the woman she has become. I am so freaking proud of her new adventures that took her to in the land of Oz.

I know the more I heal, the more she heals. The more generational patterns I break, it causes a ripple effect through to her. I am so incredibly blessed that she chose me to be her Mom, even though I was teenager who didn't have clue what the f*ck I was doing.

Parenting does not come with an instruction manual unfortunately. Like I have mentioned in my previous blog, we adapt the belief systems and habits from our parents, other family members, school, media and relgion. If you are reading this now, thinking of all the times you f*cked up as a parent, it's ok. You did the best you could do at the time, and so did your parents. It's not their fault, and it's not your fault. It's a program, and you have the ability to reprogram at anytime! It's that simple!

Taylor, if you are reading this, as you turn 30, I want you to know how proud I am of you and how grateful I am for you. You have made me a better woman, and I love you more than words can express. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mom. You are now in the thirty, flirty and thriving club! (13 going on 30 was one of her fav movies) Happy 30th Birthday Tay!

Peace & Love

Corrie

The Unregistered Nurse

Christoff Certified Self Sabotage Coach